Thanks For The Holy War (We Needed It)

Written By Matt McClintock

UNITED STATES

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  • My righteous “leader”, George,

    Thanks for all you have done for us. If there’s anything we always wanted, it was definitely death, despair, a useless economy, propagandized fear, an entire world that despises us, an endless war started by greed-heads from Texas, $5/gallon gas, church before state, and the list goes on and on.

    I can’t begin to tell you how you’ve made our dreams come true. It has been like Christmas for 8 years straight, but instead of Jesus on the cross it was you, and we could all marvel and celebrate your sacrifices for us.

    George, when you finally do take your dirt nap and do not pass Go, but instead head directly to hell, I hope to see you there to chat more about this. But beware, for I hear in Hell they are constantly poking and prodding you with hot sticks to extract your DNA for stem cell research.

    See you soon

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